Alone in crowded house
It's 7.30 in the evening. I've been stayed home - new home for all day with them ---> mother, father, daugthers, nephews, cousins, aunties,... But I'm feeling so lonely, like I'm a stranger. Actually nothing wrong with them but me.
I miss my privacy/alone but did not lonely. Because I feel free to be myself.
I want to cry. I remember that you ever asked me do I cry often? I didn't answer your question because I don't know, really don't know. May be I want to cry often but I don't cry. It's me, always acting like a super woman. .... I'm fine, no problems, I can do it, nothing serious, I can manage, ...
Why I wanna cry???? many things have not done yet!!
Moving house, clean up messy form old house, assignment, treatment, buying blind for kids' room, .... tomorrow is the last day.
What did I do today??? nothing of all above!!! I couldn't concentrated with my writing because It's too much people here. And I think that I must participate with them that why I spent the whole day here without doing anything as my plan. It's me. I've been doing this thing for the entire of my life. Think of others first and the last is myself.
May be it time to go to temple again. I miss the alone and peaceful time. I'm a puzzle to myself. Oh NO!
I remeber your word "Do it one by one". Okey I will.
I miss you. Miss your hug. Everytime when I feel weak I need your embrace. - My Huggy Bear
